Never Leave
by Cheers My Dears
Summary: AU. Violet's older brother goes away to college, when he comes home for the holidays he brings a new friend with him a blonde boy named Tate.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Months and Weeks and Days

**May**

It's a bright day in Boston, it's warm and the birds are chirping. Ben and Vivien Harmon are out grocery shopping and their eldest child, 18 year old Bennett, is walking up the street towards his house. His six foot frame of muscle walks up to the house and unlocks the front door. He holds a small packet in his hand as he walks upstairs to his sisters' bedroom. He stands outside her door for a moment thinking about how to broach the subject of her leaving the house. Bennett runs his fingers through his short dark hair and sighs. When he walks into his sister's room she's lying on her bed staring at the ceiling.

"Did you get them?" Violet doesn't move from her spot she just continues to stare.

"Yep here you are." Bennett walks over to Violet and hands her the packet, she sits up and takes it. "I think you should go outside." Bennett spits the words out hoping they don't set off an argument.

"Why would I go out? I have everything I need here." Violet swings her legs back and forth over the edge of her bed and looks through her bedside cabinet for a lighter.

"That's only because I get you the things you need and I won't be able to get you things when I'm at college." Bennett sits down on the bed next to his sister.

"Just send me a care package." Bennett laughs as Violet smiles at her idea and finds her lighter.

"I think it's supposed to be the other way round, you send me one." Violet looks up at her brother and frowns.

"Why would I send you a care package?" She unwraps the fresh packet of cigarettes Bennett has just bought for her and takes one out.

"Um...cos you care?"

"You'll be fine, you can take care of yourself always could." Violet gets off of her bed and walks to her bedroom window, lighting her cigarette.

"Yeah and who's gonna take care of you?" Bennett lies down on the bed with his arms under his head.

"I'll be fine. Maybe I can convince Dad to get my cigarettes." Violet opens the window and blows her smoke out of it.

"Never gonna happen."

"I know, I'm living in la la land if I believe that."

"Will you try? Going outside I mean." Bennett knows she won't say yes but he feels like he has to keep trying. "We can go together."

"Not today. Maybe tomorrow."

Bennett knows she will say no when he asks her tomorrow. He's tried to make her go outside before but for the past five months Violet has been stuck in the house, fear of who knows what trapping her there.

**August **

"So we'll Skype every night at 9pm, ok?" Bennett looks around Violet's room and tries to remember if he checked all her hiding places for razor blades.

"Yep 9pm for me 6pm for you. I'll be here ready and waiting, I'll try not to get caught up in my busy life and miss your call." Violet raises her eyebrows, her voice dripping sarcasm.

"Yeah, ok so..." Bennett shuffles his feet not knowing what to do and suddenly feeling dread at leaving home.

"I'll be fine!" Violet says it so loudly Bennett jumps slightly "Go! Get drunk, fuck random guys and girls and occasionally go to classes."

"Yeah...maybe I'll go to class." Bennett reaches out and grabs Violet pulling her into a hug so tight she squeaks.

"Can't. Breathe. Net."

"Oh! Sorry, been working out more than usual lately."

"Jesus I can tell, think you cracked a rib."

Violet watches from her bedroom window as her parents load the last of her brother's things into their car. Then they drive off to take him to college on the other side of the country in LA.

**Two days later**

The Skype ring tone sings through Violet's bedroom as Bennett calls her.

"I'm coming, I'm coming Jesus you never can be late can you?" Violet runs into her bedroom and over to her laptop on her bed. She hits the answer button and Bennett's worried face appears.

"Where were you?"

"I had to pee!"

"Do that on your own time!"

"How is it?"

"Big. Huge. There are millions of people; I'm getting a little claustrophobic."

"Nah you'll be fine you like people."

**Three Weeks Later**

Violet looks at the time on her computer 9:43pm. Bennett had missed their call. It was the first time since he'd left for college so she couldn't be mad. But she was upset, then she was happy that he was busy probably out with his new friends. Then she was worried something bad had happened to him. Then she was sad and felt the loneliness fill her up again.

Violet sat on her bed waiting for her brother to call for a few hours before resigning herself to the fact that tonight he wouldn't. She fought with herself and a razor blade for a few more hours before resigning to cutting. Violet felt relief when the razor cut her flesh and the blood pooled from the wound. Then she felt guilty knowing she had promised her brother she would talk to him before she cut. Just because he wasn't calling her on Skype didn't mean she couldn't call him on his cell. Violet cried silent tears as she cut her arm again and again, feeling guilt wash over the relief every time. She fell asleep on her bed, dropping the blade to the floor.

Sometime later Violet's laptop chimed signalling she had an email. But she was in a deep sleep so she didn't hear it. Bennett had gotten back from a party drunk and remembered his sister, he'd clambered to his computer and emailed her. As he waited for her to reply, not realising the time in his drunken state, he fell asleep at his desk.

The next morning Violet, luckily, woke up before her parents so she was able to clean herself and her bed of blood. As she went to shut her laptop down she saw the email from her brother and clicked it. There was a photo of Bennett with a huge grin on his face standing next to a guy with a blonde curly mess for hair, dark eyes and a grin as huge as her brothers. Violet read the words under the photo; '_My new BFF! Tate. Says he's straight but I know I can turn him!'_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Conversations over Dead Things

**Sunday**

"I am expecting an apology for last night you know. Standing me up like that." Violet is lying across her bed staring at her bedroom ceiling. Her laptop sits next to her with her brother's face filling the screen.

"So sorry I got caught up and drunk very, very drunk." Bennett pouts and flutters his eyelashes at his little sister.

"Well I hope you had fun." Violet turns her head to the side so she can see Bennett and smile at him, so he knows she's only joking and not really angry.

"Soooo much fun. What do you think? He's such a cutie, runs on the track team."

"Is that how you met? Were you stalking the track waiting for someone you liked the look of to run past?"

"Maybe. Well yeah. I'm not gonna give myself away to some couch potato; I want someone who knows the meaning of hard work. Mainly so I don't have to teach them when I get them back to mine." Bennett winks.

"That's too much info please stop." Violet closes her eyes and tries to wipe the mental image of her brother luring unsuspecting college kids to his dorm room.

"Ah poor baby Violet's all embarrassed. Oh such a sweet little virgin, you are still a virgin right?"

"Jesus personal and yes. It's difficult to fuck when you don't get out much."

"Good anyone comes near you and I'll punch their face off."

"Don't doubt that for a minute." Benny laughs.

"Are Mom and Dad home?"

"Nope out buying more baby crap."

"Be nice you're gonna be a big sister soon."

"It's pathetic having a baby when their so old especially as they already have teenage children."

"They miss me so much they feel they need to replace me."

"Wish they'd miss me."

"If you left the house they might. How's that going?"

"Slow."

"Have you been downstairs this week?"

"Mom brings my food up. Tried to get Dad to buy me cigarettes but he gave me a lecture. He was all holier than thou pretended that he doesn't smoke himself."

"Oh gosh didn't you know? He's perfect!"

"Oh yeah sorry completely forgot that!" Violet rolls her eyes and Bennett snorts.

**Monday**

"Last night was amazing! Tate and I went to a club and had some drinks and talked about running track and..."

"Sometimes I could swear you were a girl." Violet fakes a high squealing voice, "OMG he is just so cute and he just totally gets me you know?"

"Ha not ha!"

"Don't sulk Bennettina!"

"Don't get a life Violet!"

"Don't forget to take your hormones so you can grow nice big breast!"

"Don't forget to put you cancer sticks out or you'll burn as you can't jump out the window!"

"Ouch! Killing me off? Harsh. So you went to a club..."

**Thursday**

When Violet's phone rings on her dresser she jumps. She isn't sure if she should answer it. It could be her Dad calling from the hospital to tell her bad news. It could be him calling to tell her good news. It could be her tutor who knocked on her door for nearly 20 minutes trying to get Violet to let her in. Finally Violet gets up from her bedroom floor to answer her phone. She doesn't bother to look at who is calling just swipes the screen and talks.

"Hello?"

"Took your time answering your phone, where you by any chance attempting to go outside? Take the garbage out? Go for a short stroll?"

"Benny." Violet sighs, hearing her brother's voice calms her down a little.

"Why do I have like a thousand missed calls from you and Dad?"

"Benny it's..."

"I have classes you know I'm not available at all times of the day for a chat. I know you like to think that I just spend my time lying..."

"Benny listen to me!" Violet shouts and Bennett stops rambling.

"Shit what's wrong?"

"Mom's in the hospital."

"What happened?" His voice goes high and Violet knows he's panicking.

"She was bleeding, a lot, I called an ambulance and they took her. I called Dad and he went to be there with her. The baby's gonna die."

"You don't know that for sure."

"She's too old to have a baby its nature telling her that."

"Don't be a bitch Vi!"

"It's the truth!"

**Friday**

"Dad said she's gotta stay in the hospital for a few more days." Violet wedges her phone between her shoulder and ear as she opens her bedroom door a crack and peers around it.

"Ok I can get a flight out tomorrow morning. I just need Dad to pay for it." She can hear Bennett rustling things, most likely throwing clothes in a bag.

"Dad also said that you don't need to come back."

"Of course I do!" Bennett shouts down the phone.

"He said you need to concentrate on your school work and that there's nothing you can do anyway." Violet pulls herself back into her bedroom and closes the door.

"I can be there for my Mom who's just gone through a fucking horrendous experience! What the fuck does he mean can't do anything he's a shitty therapist and a shitty shit head and I'm coming back."

"He probably doesn't want to waste his money on a flight." Violet can see the look of determination on her brother's face in her mind's eye and knows that he wants to be home more than anything. "But I'll call him and let him know you're on your way."

**Saturday**

"I notice you're not here." Sitting cross legged on her bedroom floor Violet looks at her brother's face on the computer screen.

"We had a little chat in which he spouted his crap saying it was best for me to stay at school and that we can all be together over the holidays and the internet was just as good as me being here in person, and I shouted about what a fucked up prick he is. We're not talking now."

"Did you tell him you know about her?"

"No, but I think he knows that I know."

"Maybe we should tell Mom." Violet picks at some lint attached to her sock.

"Not now, it's not fair right now, she's broken already."

"We should have told her before."

"And if she walked out you'd have been left with him. You'd have starved." Bennett sighs and rests his chin on his desk staring at his sister through the computer.

"I wouldn't want to stay with him. I'd want to go with Mom. We could run away to the Bahamas!" Violet laughs.

"Yeah I can see you both on sun loungers sipping cocktails and being fanned by big muscled men." Bennett leans back in his desk chair and smiles.

"Is that not your fantasy?"

"Can I have some bikini clad women as well?"

"You've been good so yeah as a treat bikini clad women and muscle men."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: A Call from Afar

Friday

Morning 

It was not long ago that Vivian Harmon used to walk through her life without a care in the world. She held her head high then, a smile graced her face and she looked forward to every new day. But that was before, when she had nothing to fear. Since last week she felt like she had everything to fear. Her baby had died for some completely unknown reason. The unknown is what scares humans the most. Something had killed her baby and not knowing whether it was something she could have prevented caused Vivian great pain.

Now she walked through her house pale and lifeless. Catching a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror she was reminded of how her baby looked, wrapped in a blanket, held in her arms. Vivian knocked on her daughter's bedroom door, calling her name. Violet approved her entrance and motioned for her mother to sit with her on the bed.

"What was it like?" Violet didn't really know what to expect from that question.

"Awful." Vivian sighed.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you."

"Don't be. I understand. If I could stand to be in this house, I think I'd never leave." Vivian looked around her daughters' room, anything to avoid eye contact.

"I don't know how to make it better."

"You can't." Vivian turns to look in Violet's direction. "But knowing you want to, it helps. I'm going to spend some time at your Aunt Jill's, you're very welcome to join me but it's ok if you can't." She attempts to smile but it doesn't quite catch.

"Florida does sound good...but I've got a lot of studying to do so..."

"It's ok." Vivian quickly stands wringing her hands and staring at her feet. "I'll be gone a few weeks but I have my cell so call me if you need me. And your dad's here."

Violet walks with her mother to her bedroom door and kisses her on the cheek. She waits whilst her mother packs her things and walks down the hall to the stairs. Violet peers out between the slats of her blind to see Vivian get into a taxi and leave. Violet glances out at the street for a while before feeling anxious and returning to her studying.

Afternoon

Violet heard her dad's car pull up outside the house, but she ignored it. She heard her dad enter the house and call up for her, but she ignored him. Violet heard a knock on the front door, but she ignored that. She did not however, ignore the female voice she heard.

Violet flew from her bed knocking her Math book on the floor and crept to her bedroom door. She opened it a crack, to better hear whose voice it was at the door. Unfortunately she recognised it straight away as Hayden; her father's mistress.

The house being pretty big and Violet's room being far down the hall, meant that she couldn't quite hear the conversation between her father and Hayden. She was pretty tempted to go out of her room, closer towards their conversation, but fear of getting caught, and fear of being out of her room, stopped her. So Violet quietly closed her bedroom door, picked up her Math book and went back to studying.

Halfway through a particularly complicated algebraic equation Violet started hearing different noises coming from downstairs. The noises got closer and closer. The noise was coming from right outside her door just as she worked out what they were. Reaching for her iPod Violet blasted a loud, angry playlist at her eardrums slightly hoping for permanent hearing damage, and grabbed her laptop to inform her brother what their fowl father was doing, again.

Evening

Bennett walks into his dorm room and strips off his sweat soaked t-shirt.

"Serious workout," He throws the clothing on the floor and grabs a water bottle off a cabinet.

"Wimp." Tate chimes as he follows Benny through the door.

"Sweating! Look at me I'm sweating!" Tate obliges and takes a look at Benny rolling his eyes.

"Yep you're sweating, I see that."

"Well I have to shower then we'll get started with the studying."

"I don't remember a thing we've been working on." Tate looked up at Bennett, whose heart fluttered.

"Hence the studying." Benny shrugged, but Tate continued to stare blankly at him. "Here. Laptop." Benny grabbed his laptop and switched it on. "It's all set up, why not start while I'm busy?"

"I have an allergy to actual academic work."

"That's bullshit, you didn't get in on a track scholarship, I looked it up you got the grades."

"Stalker."

"Yep no denying that!" Bennett grabs his wash stuff, heads out of his dorm room and walks to the bathroom.

After spending a few seconds looking at Benny's laptop screen Tate decides to forget studying and check his emails instead. Clicking the icon on the laptop Tate accidently logs onto Benny's account. But before he can log off an email appears at the top of the list headed; 'The bitch came back'. Curiosity and a lack of respect for privacy stops Tate from logging off, especially when he sees that the emails from Bennett's sister Violet.

Tate has heard about her, she's one of Bennett's favourite subjects. As a brother who really cares about his sister himself, Tate understands Bennett's need and want to talk about her often. Unlike Bennett, Tate see his sister everyday as he commutes from home to College. He couldn't imagine being on the other side of the country from his sister.

Tate glances at the dorm room door gauging he has enough time he quickly opens the email. He scans it.

'_That bitch came back again. Mom flew out to see Aunt Jill and she came round to fuck him. My ears are bleeding from the assault.'_

Tate closes the email quickly.

"_I know what that's like."_ He thinks remembering catching his father with the maid.

He scans the list of other emails seeing that Violet has sent more. For some reason Tate couldn't resist looking at another email.

'_Mom's back. Looks like death'. _

And another.

'_Got hungry. Got out of bedroom. Got halfway down stairs. Heart was going crazy fast. Went back to my room. Try again tomorrow.' _

Tate remembered some things Bennett had said about Violet and it just then clicked that she was agoraphobic.

Tate looked back at the email list just as the dorm room door burst open and Bennett rushed in. Tate swiftly closed the email account as Bennett reached him.

"Sorry! Forgot I've gotta Skype my Sister. She gets pissy if I'm late."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Not Bop It

**Friday Evening**

Bennett, with only a towel around his waist, walked towards his desk, motioning at his laptop.

"Sorry but it'll only be a quick call then we can start on the studying." Tate moved from the desk over to his backpack on Benny's bed. Bennett went to sit on his desk chair but decided that wearing pants would be a good idea. He loaded Skype then went to his dresser and pulled on a pair of sweat pants.

"I'm sensing a pattern with this studying idea." Tate digs through his back pack as he speaks. "I'm hopeful it's gonna continue so no studying actually gets done." Grabbing his headphones, Tate lies on the floor of the room and turns his music on.

Bennett rolls his eyes as he sits down at his desk to call Violet. Tate reaches his arms up and folds them under his head, he closes his eyes and Bennett takes the chance to allow himself to focus on Tate's chest gently rising and falling.

"So you've now actively stopped wearing clothes now?" Violet's voice startles Bennett who turns to look at his sister with wide guilty eyes. "Hello?" Violet frowns at her brother and waits for him to respond.

"Huh?" Bennett copies his sister's confused expression.

"Clothes?" Violet tries to engage Benny who looks down at himself and realises what she means.

"Oh yeah, just got out of the shower, didn't want you complaining about me being late. It's ok I'm wearing pants."

"Ok. Well, how considerate of you, I do have a very busy schedule."

"Yep that's me, always thinking of others. So, anything new happening on your end?" Bennett relaxes in his seat.

"Unfortunately, yes." Benny doesn't need Violet to tell him who was causing problems as he already knew, but she does anyway. "Dad."

"What was it this time?" Bennett throws his arms up in annoyance, "Another whore or was it the same one? Whatever, hopefully Mom will find a rich, handsome not asshole in Florida and..." As Bennett continues to talk Violet notices movement in Benny's room. Tate is in the background of the screen reaching for his notebook on the edge of Bennett's bed.

"Benny?"

"Maybe he'll be seriously rich and..."

"Benny?"

"...invited to big events with celebrities and..."

"Benny!"

"Huh?" Bennett finally hears Violet and stops talking.

"When did you become blonde and is there someone else in your room?" Violet motions at her computer screen to the right of Benny.

"I'm not blonde." Running his fingers through his short hair Bennett tries to look up at it, and fails.

"Not literally blonde you keep saying...oh never mind," Violet speaks slowly, "Who. Is. In. Your. Room?" Bennett glares at Violet but decides to ignore her patronising tone.

"It's Tate. Wanna say hi?" Bennett angles his laptop so that the camera picks Tate up too. He's still lying on the floor of the dorm room with his music on and his notebook in his hand. Benny uses his bare foot to nudge Tate on the knee, who instantly drops his notebook and turns his head to Benny. Tate sees Violet's face on the laptop and sits bolt upright.

"Hi." Violet raises her hand in a fraction of a wave.

"Hey." The slightest of smiles pulls at the corner of Tate's lips. "I'll get going so you guys can chat." Tate indicates the door and goes to stand up.

"Stay, chat too." Benny didn't want Tate to miss out on spending time with Tate. He had decided he'd never 'have' him but Benny couldn't resist being near Tate any time he could.

"Ok. Ummm?" Tate stops standing and shifts himself onto Bennett's bed. Silence lingers in the room, so Bennett picks up his laptop and moves to sit next to Tate.

Placing the computer on the bed, so the three of them are in a triangle, Bennett tries one of his newly acquired ice breakers; "Let's play rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock."

"I have no idea what you've just said." Tate shakes his head.

"It's an adaptation of the classic game. You see..." Bennett starts explaining, but Violet cuts him off.

"It's an expansion of the classic game, and one point higher on the 'holy shit we are bored' scale than Bop It."

"And what would you prefer?" Spreading his arms wide Benny invites Violet to offer up a suggestion.

"No it's fine you carry on. Although, why don't I explain and you attempt to dress yourself." Violet mimes putting on a shirt. "Would you like me to call a nurse for you or do you think you can manage it?" Violet is given Bennett's middle finger as he walks off to find a shirt.

After explain, and playing the game for a while, Violet and Tate get to know each other a little better, with the help of Benny.

"He's got a brother and sister; Beau and Addie." Benny pulls an orange from a bowl on his desk and starts to peel it.

"Yeah they're both older than me, but I've always looked out for them. People liked to use inappropriate words in place of the acceptable term 'special needs'."

"So you beat them?" Violet stares intently at Tate on the screen. Tate straightens his face and replies with equal seriousness.

"To a purple pulp." Tate and Violet both laugh.

"They deserve it. Are you still close to them?" Violet rests her elbows on her knees.

"The people I beat?" Violet shakes her head, "Oh my brother and sister, logical, yeah, we get along pretty good." Tate looks down at his hands and swiftly changes the subject, "But probably not as well as you two do." He indicates Violet and Bennett in turn.

Benny stretches his arms over his head as he sits back on his bed.

"No way of course you guys get on great; you still live at home with them. And with your Mommy." Benny playfully shoves Tate's shoulder. "Mamma's boy!"

"Thanks! Just what I want people to think. No it makes sense to live at home, it's only a 30 minute drive to college and I get to see my family all the time, which is nice as I kinda like them."

Tate and Violet continue to talk until Bennett makes a purposeful yawn right in view of the laptop camera.

"Well as you two are getting along so well I think I may pass ice breaker 101." Benny gets up off his bed and heads to his fridge for a soda.

"Yep just matchmaking 101 left to pass, don't try it on us though the distance would kill it." Tate shakes his head and laughs as Violet swallows a sudden lump in her throat.

"Touch my sister and I'll kill!" Bennett attempts a menacing voice before searching through the fridge and muttering to himself; "How can I still be hungry?"

"Hey Violet?" Tate turns back to Violet on the laptop.

"Yeah?"

"Can I get your email?"

"Sure."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Poetry

**Saturday**

When checking her emails in the morning Violet finds a selection of junk and one from an address she doesn't recognise.

"Grandma take me home?" Violet thinks about the address for a moment and wonders if it could be from Tate. She postulated that he did ask her for her email address and he did have an obsession with Nirvana. Violet opens the email to find a poem.

_I would I were a careless child,  
>Still dwelling in my Highland cave,<br>Or roaming through the dusky wild,  
>Or bounding o'er the dark blue wave; <em>

Underneath the poem is a single line;

_Let me know if you want to hear more. Tate._

Violet reread the poem a few times feeling a mixture of embarrassment and glee at being sent it by Tate. She realised it was a Byron poem and, although she wasn't a huge fan, it could be interesting to have a poem read to her, even if it was via email.

Later in the evening Violet decides to email Tate back.

_I already know the rest._

Violet sends the email and carries on with her day. She checks her emails after 15 minutes but nothing interesting comes up. Violet realises quickly that she can't concentrate on her school work as all she can think about is Tate and what he would think of her email. She continues to attempt to entertain herself by watching TV but just finds herself imagining Tate's voice speaking the lines of the poem he wanted to share with her.

Violet starts worrying about the email, thinking Tate may take it the wrong way, and begins pacing around her room.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" She runs her fingers through her hair, "Great now I'm talking to myself."

Violet sighs and breathes to calm her heart and mind. She walks back to her computer to email Tate, deciding to strike up a conversation about poetry. When she opens her emails she finds Tate has replied. Swallowing hard Violet opens the email.

_Would you like to hear something else?_

Violet let out a squeak with the rush of air that left her lungs from the breath she was holding. She laughed at herself and her panicked state. Nervousness stuck to her like a second skin now and she didn't know how to shed it. But Tate's reply soothed Violet who now had a choice to make. She preferred American poets but Tate hadn't actually specified what literary genres she had to choose from. She could in theory ask Tate to recite the Constitution or Go the Fuck to Sleep. After a small amount of thinking Violet chose and replied to Tate;

_Whitman._

It took Tate only seconds to reply with;

_Which one?_

Violet enjoyed all of Whitman's work, what she wanted wasn't just for Tate to recite a poem she already knew, but for him to find one for her. So she replied with;

_You have to pick one for me._

Half an hour later a ping signals another email from Tate. Opening it Violet finds;

_I Celebrate myself, and sing myself,_

_And what I assume you shall assume,_

_For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you._

**Wednesday**

"Ok Benny I'll be good. Won't go getting into any trouble, I promise." Violet smirks and crosses her heart for effect.

"Ha ha! Chat tomorrow. Over and out." Bennett salutes Violet with his middle finger and ends the Skype call.

Several minutes later Violet's Skype ringtone sounds for the second time that evening. She smiles as she sees its Tate.

"I agree with Whitman, I like being in the present, each moment as it comes, not spending time stuck thinking about the past or the future." Violet ties her hair up out of the way of her face.

"But you are stuck in the past aren't you?" Violet frowns at Tate's question. "I just mean that you don't really have any..."

"Future?"

"I was gonna say moments. You don't go out or do anything. You don't experience life." Violet raises her eyebrows. "I may have sounded like a jerk then. I just mean...I'd like to...but you don't have a present though."

"Well this has been lovely." Violet shrugs and averts her eyes from her laptop screen. She feels a pit open up in her stomach.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you it's just..."

"No it's ok. I get it."

"Why did you say future?" Trying to change the subject and keep Violet on his side, Tate continues. "Just a second ago you thought I was gonna say you don't have a future."

"Because that's what everyone says to me, and it's true, I can't have a future without leaving this house."

"You could do it. You could walk out of the door and be free." Tate grins and apples out his cheeks. "I'll come with you if you want."

"Yeah ok!"Violet scoffs, "You hop on a plane and come hold the hand of a crazy as she tries to walk out of her front door!"

"I'd do it for you." Tate's face shows the sincerity of his words and Violet doesn't know what to say back to him.

The pair sit with the awkward silence for several moments before Violet breaks it.

"Every time I've tried to do it it feels like the world around me is closing in." The words tumble out of her mouth and Violet can't stop them, "It goes black, I can't hear or feel anything or breathe. My head wants to leave but my body panics and freezes. Now I only have to think about leaving and it gets dark."

As if to emphasis her own point Violet not only sees but feels the darkness creep into her vision. Her breathing quickens as she waits for Tate to say something. Tate's silence turns Violet's stomach, she panics that she's gone too far telling him all these things? Tears start to form in Violet's eyes and she curses herself for being so pathetic.

"What do you think would happen if you carried on through the black and walked out of the house?" Violet can't see Tate's face clearly through the forming tears but she can hear the genuine concern in his voice and she wonders how and why he fells for her.

"I don't know. I don't think I could get out on my own, it takes me over and I can't move." Violet feels the tears tumble down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, please don't cry, I don't want you to be upset. Let's not talk about it right now."

Tate distracts Violet with tales of his brother and sister well into the next morning.

"You have to go for your run in a few hours. Maybe we should say bye for now." Violet reluctantly suggested.

"Sounds like a good idea." Tate ducks his head "I'll send you something later."

Violet slept for hours dreaming of her favourite things.

**Thursday**

Violet booted her laptop up five minutes after she woke up. She vaguely remembered pieces of her dreams most of sitting in the open air watching the world go by. But she also remembered bits about machines beeping and the smell of bleach. She had had similar dreams for a while after the incident but not since.

Violet pushed her dreams to the back of her mind as she checked her emails and as she anticipated, she saw one from Tate. She beamed and opened it;

_LIFE has dark secrets; and the hearts are few  
>That treasure not some sorrow from the world-<br>A sorrow silent, gloomy, and unknown,  
>Yet colouring the future from the past.<em>

Underneath the poem Tate finishes with;

_Happy Thanksgiving. Got my flight booked for Christmas can't wait to meet you in person. _


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Home for the Holidays: Part 1

**Wednesday**

Bennett sat at his computer desk attempting to talk with Violet about his plans for the Holidays on Skype. He was attempting to only because she had drifted off into another of her recently occurring day dreams.

"What is the point of me calling you if you don't engage with me?" Bennett threw his arms in the air when Violet didn't respond. "I'm serious Vi, talk to me!"

Violet continued to stare at nothing not hearing how frustrated her brother was by her lack of interaction. She was preoccupied with two things; thoughts of Tate and the whispering she kept hearing, always off to the right and that little bit too far away for her to fully hear.

"Right I'm going bye." Bennett moved as if to log off of Skype but stopped himself and decided to sit quietly and wait for Violet to notice him. It took her several minutes to notice Bennett was silent, then she mentally and physically shook herself trying to get rid of the persistent floating feeling she had, so she could concentrate for five minutes.

"So what time does your flight get in?"

"Just after three, which gives me the rest of the day to catch up with everyone and show Tate around."

"By everyone you mean the jocks?"

"Yeah."

"Best put your butch face on then."

"Not fair I wanted to wear my false eyelashes and brightest lipstick!"

"Do that and you'll spend Christmas in the ER. How did you get away with them not knowing?"

"Just didn't tell and didn't act myself."

"It isn't right people should be themselves and be accepted for it."

"You've been in that house for far too long. The people who are themselves are persecuted, not all of the granted, but I'd have never been able to play football game again. And I am still myself just a small piece of myself."

"Is that how you act at College? A small part of yourself?"

"Depends who I'm with or what I'm doing. It'd be like lifting weights in a lecture, my behaviour is appropriate to the situation as is my personality."

"I'm not sure that's...the best way, but if it works...?"

"Don't worry you'll learn."

"Not sure I want to."

Bennett and Violet chatted for a while about nothing in particular, until he asked a question that had been burning in him for some time.

"Do you think I should make a move on Tate?" As soon as she heard his name Violet felt an odd tingle run throughout her body. She tried to hide her flustered face as her brother spilt all his feelings to her. "I've liked him, and I mean really liked him since we first met. He's so much fun to be around and I am pretty much my whole self around him. But I don't want to try it on and loose a friend. Especially not before we visit. That would be awkward. I know he says he's straight and he is straight but that doesn't mean he wouldn't like to try it out. Or even just be flattered. What do you think?"

"Oh...well...good points...don't want to lose a friend, is straight...but yeah strong feelings there. Honestly you need to find out if he'd be interested otherwise the points moot. Or completely one sided."

"I know you're right I just feel like I'm missing out."

"I know you, you don't miss out on anything, I bet you can't even remember your number now."

"No I can...let me think..." Much to Violet's dismay Bennett began listing his conquests.

After a while Violet started to drift off again, the voices were whispering and the more she concentrated on them the clearer they became. She still couldn't actually understand the words being said, but she was now sure there were a variety of voices.

Bennett noticed Violet had drifted off again, she was smiling and laughing at his comments, but Bennett could tell it was half hearted and that she was no longer interested.

"I could make a joke about you not paying attention to me again, but you'd only give me a fake laugh."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not...right...you're not yourself. You're distant, sad...false. You sit there looking at me and all I see is a lie." Bennett's voice cracked at the last word. He sat there watching his sister process his words and tried to cover a sniff by coughing. There was nothing but silence between the siblings until Violet's voice broke it, small and pained.

"I'm not a lie."

"Maybe not a lie but you're not you." Tears started to form in Bennett's eyes as he spoke. He knew he was hurting Violet by saying these things, but it was hurting him to see her sat their doing and being nothing.

"I want to stop talking now. See you Saturday." Violet logged off of Skype before Bennett could say or do anything else.

Violet sat there tears falling down her cheeks, with an empty pit in her stomach and an ache in her chest. She felt nauseous every time someone brought up her problem. She felt so incapable and pathetic. More than anything Violet wanted to wrap her fingers around her ribs bones and pull off her entire rib cage, so she could rip out whatever was paining her inside. In this imaginary scenario Violet would undoubtedly kill herself and that being an unfortunate consequence of her actions would be just fine. But without the ability to rip out her rib cage Violet was forced to settle for a smaller action still possibly with the same unfortunate side effect. After slicing old and new lines into her arm Violet dangled it over the edge of her bed and drifted off to sleep, wondering if she'd wake up the next morning.

**Saturday**

Violet's tutor walked out of her bedroom after another of their intensive workshops and Vivien walked in with a pile of fresh laundry in her arms, and a smile on her face. She set the laundry down on Violet's chair and moved to place the items in the closet. Violet watched her mother from her spot on the floor and wondered how she could still smile. She had been through so much not just loosing the baby, but having a cheating husband and... There was something else that had happened, although when she tried to remember what it was she found herself drifting off again into daydreams.

"Benny's flight's been delayed."

"Huh?" Violet focused on her mom's voice again.

"Benny and Tate's flight is delayed by a few hours so they'll be later and we won't be able to pick them up."

"Why not?"

"Your Dad and I are going out."

"Out where?"

"Oh interested today are we?" Vivien closed the closet door and walked to stand at the foot of Violet's bed, "We've have been invited to the opening of the new Shostakovich and Tchaikovsky performance at the Symphony hall."

"You said you'd never step foot in their again."

"I know. But I decided to try moving on with my life."

"Good for you."

"It's going to be a new chapter. You should start a new chapter."

"Please don't Mom we were having a nice chat."

Vivien sighed and left her daughter's bedroom.

Several hours later Violet heard Ben and Vivien leave for the Symphony hall. She was still sat on her bedroom floor with her headphones on listening to music that, according to her mother was a perfect extension of her dreary demeanour. She blasted one song after another in order to drown out the variety of strange noises that she kept hearing. Creaking and beeping ranging from constant to occasional, but the fear that she was losing her mind completely was causing more stress to Violet than the actual noises. Because of the music in her ears she did not hear Bennett arrive. He unlocked the front door and walked into the house, leading Tate in.

"Mom? Dad? Violet?" Bennett called out but no one replied. "Well I know Violet's here she's not the run out to the store kind." He dropped his back pack by the door and walked further into the house, "So this is my house." Just incase Tate was sure what he was talking about Bennett waved his arm around to indicate the house, "It has all the mod cons, doors, floors and walls."

"Yeah very modern with the walls and such." Tate held onto his bag and looked around the house.

"Yep, and kitchen and stairs, and on and on." Grabbing a glass from a cabinet Bennett filled it with water and threw it down his throat. He finished with a gasp then indicate Tate with now empty glass, "Drink?"

"No, actually, bathroom?"

"Yeah we got them too." Bennett set the glass back down and headed to the stairs "Up here, I'll show you your room too. It's mine we'll have to share, hope that's ok."

Bennett led Tate up the stairs, stopping off at the first door they came to. He pushed his finger into the wood of the door and shook his head.

"My Aunt's visiting from Florida and staying in here with her awful children." Bennett walked away from the room and Tate followed him, to the next door. When Bennett reached this door he pointed the same way as at the last.

"Parents." Bennett walked away again. When he reached the third door on their left Bennett opened it. Filled with weights, trophies and assorted sports paraphernalia, this room was obviously Bennett's. Tate nodded as he looked around the room. Satisfied that Tate knew this room belonged to him, Bennett closed the door and turned on his heel. Walking past all the rooms to the other side of the house, he wondered what would happen that night when they shared the room. He opened the door to the first room to show a bathroom. The last door he didn't open but knocked on instead.

"Violet! Room service!" When his shouts elicited no reply Bennett cracked his knuckles and knocked on the door harder. "Vi! It's your wonderful brother open up!" His face painted with worry Bennett half closed his eyes and opened the door. He found his sister sitting on the floor staring at her rug with her headphones on.

"Well this is my sister in the flesh, staring at her rug. Apparently neither of us are adopted so don't quite know where the weird comes from." Bennett walks over to Violet and jabs her in the shoulder. Startled, Violet flinched and swore before taking her headphones off and turning to see her brother.

"Fuck! You could have knocked!"

"Did, you're deaf with those on." Bennett pulled a chair next to Violet's bed, sat in it and rested his feet up on her bed. "Tate." He pointed in Tate's direction, who was standing in the door way.

"Hey!" Violet beamed at Tate and motioned for him to come into the room. He chose to sit on the floor in between and facing the siblings. Bennett grabbed a pack of cards from Violet's bedside cabinet and started to shuffle them.

"Where's Mom and Dad? They said they couldn't pick us up but didn't say why."

"Performance at the Symphony hall."

"Oh. But Mom said..."

"That's what I thought but she went on about statyrign a new chapter in her life and all that bullshit. So your plane didn't crash anything else interesting in your lives?"

The three of them talked for several hours about college and each other's lives and played a few hands of rummy before Ben and Vivian returned and they all decided to sleep.

**Sunday**

Vivien's sister, Jo arrived the next day with her ten year old twin boys and informed the family that she would be staying until the New Year as she wanted to punish her husband for working over the Holidays. Bennett and Tate ate lunch in Violet's room and told her about Aunt Jo's plan, she commented that it would most likely be a restful Holiday for Jo's husband. After they ate Bennett and Tate left to see the Boston sites and didn't return until the early hours of Monday morning.

**Monday – Christmas Eve**

Violet awoke to a shrill screamed version of Come all ye Faithful travelling around the house. Her bedroom door opened and in skipped her Aunt Jo with the twins, Bennett and Tate behind her.

"Good morning Violet!" Jo began directing her helpers to bring in and decorate a six foot Christmas tree.

"Why?" Violet pointed at the tree with its gaudy decorations.

"Just bringing a little of the Christmas spirit to you." Tate winked at Violet and she rolled her eyes in response.

Bennett took Tate out for most of the day again. They met up with Bennett's friends and crammed in some last minute shopping. When they returned Tate helped Bennett wrapped his hastily bought gifts on Violet's bedroom floor.

Tate's cell rang and he went out of the room to take the call.

"I'm thinking of making my move on New Year's eve. Chuck's having a party 'cos his parents are away."

"Oh. Are you gonna do around everyone?"

"Hell no! We can go in the garden and chat and hopefully kiss."

"Benny you don't even know if he likes you."

"I'll deal with it."

"And if he knocks you out?" Violet was genuinely concerned that her brother would lose his friend by kissing him, but she was also worried she'd loose Tate too. Whether it would be because Bennett had scared him away or because Tate wanted to be with him, Violet couldn't stand the idea of it.

The bedroom door opened and Tate walked in.

"My sister." He sat back down on the floor and continued to help Bennett wrap his gifts.

That night Bennett dragged Tate to a club and Violet fell asleep worried about New Years.

**Tuesday – Christmas Day**

Vivian delivered Violet's Christmas gift early in the morning. She handed her a box and after unwrapping it Violet found a red beret.

"I found this hat in that thrift store you like." Vivian beamed.

"Thanks Mom it's perfect." Violet hugged her mother and placed the hat on her head.

Bennett followed his mom with his gift. He'd framed a photo of himself and Violet when they were younger, on vacation in Florida.

Violet's Aunt Jo came into her room later in the morning. She brought a small crucifix and attempted to fix it around Violet's neck. She protested, noting that she was not and would never be a Christian, but was grateful for the sentiment.

All of the family were roped into cooking the meal but Ben refused. Instead he waited until everyone was occupied then he went upstairs to see Violet. When he walked into her room Violet instantly put her book down. Ben sat on the edge of his daughter's bed and looked her dead in the eye.

"You're going to come downstairs and eat Christmas lunch with your family."

"I can't."

"You don't really have a choice, I will drag you from this room." Violet's heart was beating too fast for her to disguise it. Ben stood up and walked towards Violet. He held out his hand to her and the black started to cloud Violet's vision.

"You're leaving me with no choice." Ben reached across the bed and grabbed Violet's arm, trying to pull her from her bed. Violet screamed and thrashed out at her dad. Ben continued to pull Violet, dragging her off of the bed and onto the floor, all the while shouting that she was ruining the day.

The rest of the family and Tate heard the commotion upstairs and ran to find out what was happening. Bennett burst through the bedroom first and tackled his father to the floor.

"What are you doing!" Vivian screamed at Ben.

"She's running everything she needs to get up now!"

Violet crawled away from the door and cowered in the corner of her room. She cried into her knees soaking the fabric through.

"You're ruining this whole day! It's selfish! Get up now!" Ben screamed at her.

"Shouting at her will not help!" Vivien turned to her daughter and begged, "But please Violet please try!"

"I can't! I just can't! Stop you have to stop!" All Violet could see was the black surrounding her, choking the oxygen from her lungs.

Tate pushed past everyone in the door way and scrambled to reach Violet. He crouched down next to her and stroked her hair. He gently whispered in her ear.

"I don't want to push you, you know that, but there isn't much time. Hold my hand and we'll do it together. I'll protect you I promise."

Violet looked into Tate's eyes and the black surrounding her started to thin into a grey smoke, but she still couldn't see or breath just right.

"Please I can't." She gasped.

Tate closed his eyes for a beat and reached down help Violet onto her feet. He helped her to walk to her bed and lie on it. Vivian walked over to her and stroked her hair.

"It's ok. I understand." She kissed her daughter on the cheek and walked out of the room. Jo and the twins followed. Bennett let his dad stand up but blocked his way to Violet.

"Best if you walk away now." Bennett glared at his father, arms folded over his chest.

Ben looked at Violet one last time before walking out of the room and of the house. The family ate their meal quietly without fuss or criticism, whilst Violet slept a dreamless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Home for the Holidays pt II

Violet spent the majority of the next week sleeping and day dreaming. She awoke several times a day to her mother carrying a tray of food begging her to eat and drink. She would eat to please her, but she had no real appetite.

For months now Violet had heard her parents arguing outside her bedroom door. But now it was worse, she could even hear the arguments coming from downstairs. Vivian refused to let Ben into Violet's room at any time. Ben decided that this was unacceptable in his house and shouted at his wife every time she stopped him entering the room. Bennett spent half his time guarding his sister and the other half dragging Tate around his favourite places in the city.

**Friday**

Violet woke up to Vivian screaming at Ben again. She turned over to try and sleep some more, but found it difficult when the screaming voice travelled up the stairs with its owner. Violet heard Vivian and Ben shouting at each other from their bedroom but she couldn't make out enough of what they were saying, until they came out again.

"I will fight you and I will win." Vivian's voice, horse yet commanding, travelled through the wood of Violet's door. "You leave this house and you never come back."

"I'll see you in court." Ben replied to his wife.

Violet heard her father walk down the stairs, the front door opened then slammed closed. Vivian sobbed as Ben drove away from the house. Violet sat in her bed confused and frustrated. She had no idea what the fight was about but she wanted to comfort her Mom and she couldn't, because although she was so close, she was also so far away.

**Sunday **

Tate crept into Violet's room sometime late in the day. She was lying in her bed on her back, body completely covered by her comforter but her face and hair peeking out from under it. Tate gently perched on the edge of the bed. He sat there for some time not sure what to do now he had the chance to spend some time with Violet. He glanced at her softly breathing and wondered how much time he would have just to sit with her before Bennett found him.

"You got away from him then." Tate jumped and the entire bed shook when he heard Violet's voice. She laughed at him lightly and he grinned back.

"Benny? Yeah just for a little while. He's helping your Mom move some boxes in the garage."

"What boxes?"

"I'm not sure. She just said boxes."

"You've probably got a lot of time then. She likes to rearrange the boxes in the garage as an excuse to go through them and reminisce. It could be hours."

"I wouldn't know what to do with myself for hours without Benny forcing me to go somewhere or do something!"

"Poor Taters." Violet smirked and sat up in her bed. "What awful things has he been subjecting you to?"

Tate took a deep breath before opening his mouth and spilling all of the recent experiences he'd had with Bennett. Each day he explained where Bennett had taken him and the extreme amount of talking that he'd done about anything and everything. Tate barley stopped for breath, needing to get all the awful experiences off of his chest. When he got to the morning of that day he started slowing down as he was starting to feel a little light headed.

"And today he decided we were going to the outlet mall in Wrentham. It wasn't close!"

Tate explained how Bennett had complained that he needed new sweat pants. But Tate was sure Bennett already had at least twenty pairs. After spending nearly an hour in Vivian's car listening to what Bennett called music, Tate was happy to flip off anyone in his general area. Then having to drive around the car lot about three times looking for a parking spot and missing many, Tate had wished he did drugs to take the edge off. He spent several hours being asked which sweat pants looked best on him by Bennett and Tate was tempted to tell him that they all made him look like a meat head. But he'd decided to be nice and not do it and instead, literally, bit his tongue.

Tate stopped to breathe and think about what he was saying. He'd just complained and insulted Violet's brother to her face. He looked at her with trepidation worried what she'd do and say, only to find she was looking at him expectantly.

"And then?" Violet asked.

"Oh...uh...you're not mad at me for talking about him like that?"

"He's a self obsessed douche bag. This I know, carry on."

Tate continued to tell Violet about the horrors of the day which included a long deliberation over pretzels and a short disappearing act by Tate. Violet laughed when she heard how Bennett screamed Tate's name into the bookstore and when he couldn't find him.

"He sure can scream." She chuckled. "And thanks for bringing me back a pretzel! I love Auntie Annie's."

"Sorry." Tate hung his head in mock shame, "Next time you can come with me and pick one for yourself."

"Deal."

"TATE!" Bennett's screech of a voice pierced through the door as he headed up the stairs.

Tate sighed and picked himself up off the bed and walked towards the door. When he opened it Bennett was on the other side. His eyes opened a little wider then narrowed, along with his lips.

"Good shower?"

"Uh...ended up talking to Vi for a while."

"Oh. Well I could have used your help with the boxes and my Mom ended up taking me on an enforced trip down memory lane." Bennett folded his arms over his chest.

"But it's over now so..." Tate shrugged hoping to ease some of the tension between them. Bennett glared at Tate momentarily then over his shoulders at his sister.

"Do you want to go to the gym?" Tate was surprised just how quickly Bennett's facial expression and body language could change, and wondered if he had also changed internally.

"Sure let me get my stuff." Tate turned to say bye to Violet and left her room. As he did so Bennett walked towards Violet, and even though he was smiling with his mouth Violet could see that inside he was far from happy.

"You know I like him."

"Yeah I know that."

"So don't fuck it up for me."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Firstly you think I'm interested. Secondly you think I'd do that? Thirdly you think..."

"He's interested. Which he is by the way."

Violet stopped talking and clamped her mouth shut. She tried so hard not to move to so that Bennett wouldn't know how much what he said excited her. Violet wanted so badly to ask him how he knew that. Had Tate told him? Had he overheard Tate or read some secret journal he kept.

"But it'll never happen between you for a million and one reason's so don't bother." Bennett turned around and walked out of Violet's room.

Violet heard Tate and her brother leave for the gym. She heard her Mom talking to her Dad and her Aunt joining in. But through all she heard she a voice in the background get whispering 'He likes you'.

**Monday - New Years Eve **

Violet heard Vivian crying in her room again. Since Friday it had been a mixture of crying and laughing coming at different rates from her mother. Violet knew something different was happening but she had no idea what. Vivian wouldn't come in her room, Benny wouldn't tell her what was happening and Tate, well she didn't want to discuss anything but 'So you like me, like me then' with him.

Violet knew Ben had left the house and not come back, Bennett had stopped guarding her room like a Rottweiler and she didn't hear his voice in the house anymore. Violet initially assumed Vivian had found out about the affairs and kicked Ben out, but when she thought about it she wasn't so sure. If that was the case her brother would have told her; they would have revelled in their mother's strength. But Bennett was acting weird, he hadn't spoken to her since last night and they way he bitch flipped on her wasn't like him at all.

Violet felt tears roll down her cheeks as she thought of the way her life had screwed up. She was a mess, a pathetic bundle of nothing. And more than that she was pulling her family into her crazy. Thoughts flew through Violet's head; memories of her life before she slammed herself in her bedroom prison mixed with flashes of smiling Tate and crying Vivian, shouting Ben and angry Bennett. And all the while the beeping was growing stronger.

Violet shot out of her bed and slammed her body into the nearest wall. She screamed in frustration wishing she could rip the bricks down and fly out of her cell. She pushed herself backwards falling on the floor and flailing her limps about still screaming. After a long time Violet stopped what she was doing and listened, she heard her Mom, brother and Tate in the house. But no one had come running to see what the noise was about.

Violet sat up then crawled to the corner of her room. She slithered a razor blade out from under the foot of her cabinet and slowly sliced into her flesh. As she cut, Violet thought of all the strange things in her life. Mentally she noted them, mentally she made a list, mentally she theorized and mentally came up with a hypothesis. Hours went by with Violet thinking and she didn't know how late it was when she decided she was going to leave her room and her house.

Still dazed Violet dropped the razor blade when Tate abruptly threw open her bedroom door. He was panting and quickly ran to Violet where she sat.

"Please tell me you're ready Violet. You have to be!" Violet stared blankly at Tate. He seemed different. "It's going to happen Wednesday unless you can prove them wrong." Violet had no idea what Tate was talking about but she knew he was desperate for her to understand so she nodded at him.

Relief washed over Tate's face, he grabbed Violet's hands in his and kissed them. Violet had never felt something so soft and warm and perfect. She wanted to lean in and kiss Tate's lips and never let them go.

"She'll never do it, she's had so much time to do it and she hasn't. Why do you think that now she has a deadline it'll happen?!" Bennett stormed into Violet's bedroom with Vivian in tow.

Both mother and son stop when they see Tate and Violet so close together. Nothing was said as Tate turned to look at the newest arrivals in the room, "I knew this would happen! I knew you'd take everything I had one day!" Bennett's voice was thick and instantly tears sprang from his eyes. "Why can't you see how much I love you Tate?!" Tate stood to face his friend. He held out his hands and shrugged.

"I know you do but I'm sorry Benny, I really am, I don't feel the same way."

"I was going to kiss you when the countdown ended." Bennett genuinely looked hurt that Tate didn't feel the same as him.

"I guessed that too." Tate's cheeks turned rose red, "But Benny we need to concentrate now on Violet."

"Violet. It's because of her isn't it? You don't want to be with me because you like her."

"Benny, no, I wouldn't want to be with you at all, it's not..." Bennett shoved his fists into Tate's chest so that he flew backwards onto the floor. Vivian gasped and rushed to help him up.

"You can't have it all Violet! All the attention, all the love!" Bennett threw his fists about in anger, "I wanted one thing!" Bennett stormed out of the room.

Violet felt herself standing up, almost like she had no control over the action. Her limps felt like they were made of concrete but she was moving. The beeping intensified with every step she took. Tate and Vivian didn't seem to notice her moving but Violet didn't care, she was determined to walk out of the house. She ignored people's faces as they flashed into her field of vision and the quickening of the beeps. Violet felt the feeling returning to her limps as she walked out of her bedroom and onto the first stair.

By the time she was on the bottom step the beeping was all she could hear. It filled her ears loud and fast. Violet never noticed that the black smoke she usually saw, even when think of leaving the house, didn't appear. The only thing Violet noticed was the front door and the shrill sound of the beeping, the closer she got to the door the lighter she felt. Violet gripped the handle with one hand, took a deep breath and turned the handle to open the door.

As she stepped out of the house, Violet let out her breath and whispered; "I'm free."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: The Truth will be Told

Ben Harmon had been having affairs for years. It started shortly after Bennett was born. Vivian knew all about the affairs, she just ignored them, for the sake of her family she told herself. But really she had no idea how to leave Ben, how to live on her own. That's why she always ran to her sister when things got bad. She ran there when she found out about the affairs.

She had just come home from the doctors after finding out she was pregnant for the second time. Vivian heard a noise when she walked in the house; she was worried it was an intruder. She crept up the stairs with a kitchen knife in her hand. Vivian made it to her bedroom door and placed her ear to the wood. Slowly Vivian recognized the sounds she was hearing, the realisation spread over her face as tears welled up in her eyes.

Vivian walked back down the stairs and dropped the knife on the kitchen counter. She quickly scrawled a note saying where she was going then collected her son and flew with him to Florida. Ben never once called his wife to see how she or their son where. Vivian stayed with her sister for two weeks, never once explaining why she had come. Upon returning to Boston, Vivian pretended that nothing had ever happened.

Shortly after Vivian became aware of Ben's indiscretions he began seeing a young student, at the university where he taught, named Anna. She found Ben charming and he loved the way she admired him. As Vivian grew heavier with child, Ben grew further away from his wife and closer to Anna. That was until she announced her own pregnancy just before Violet was born.

Ben found the strife of a pregnant Anna too much to deal with, so he told her the relationship needed to end. Anna told Ben she would leave him alone as long as he supported her and the baby, if he didn't she'd tell his wife. Not knowing that Vivian was aware of the adultery, Ben agreed to Anna's condition.

As Bennett and Violet grew up Ben became much better at choosing who he slept with, generally sticking to one night stands. Vivian ignored every sign of the affairs and threw herself into her children and her work with the Boston Symphony Orchestra.

Bennett told Violet what an affair was when she was 6; he also told her that their Father had them all the time. He had caught him with numerous babysitters. Violet spat on her hand and extended it to Bennett.

"Promise me we won't tell Mom, Netty, It'll make her sad." Bennett spat on his own hand, nodded and the siblings shook to seal the deal.

**September**

Hayden came onto the scene quite late in Ben's affair career. She started out as a one night stand after an impromptu visit to a college bar, but she just couldn't leave Ben to himself. As an obviously beautiful student in his smallest class, Psychology of Human Sexuality, Ben found it very difficult to ignore her. She would sit at the front of the class and flirt continuously and interrupt his lectures with comments and questions aimed at Ben, rather than the subject matter.

One evening she turned up at the end of Ben's open hours stating she desperately needed in-depth help. Ben spent hours helping Hayden to understand the relatively easy concept of how sexual aversion therapy was theorized to work. Before he had much of a chance to think it over they were both naked and fucking on the desk.

Hayden had initially seemed sweet and naive to Ben, just how he liked his toys. But after their first night together he knew he was getting himself into trouble. They had fun together but Ben knew it was only a matter of time before she caused him problems. When she began to get clingy he tried to break up with her, but she pulled her shirt off and when Ben saw her breasts, he stopped talking.

**October **

**Monday**

Hayden cornered Ben in the Hall and whispered that they needed to talk in his ear. He met up with her at her apartment and she told him she was pregnant. Ben could have shot himself for being so stupid to let it happen again. He spent days trying to convince Hayden to have an abortion, saying he couldn't have a baby with her right now as he had other family commitments. He managed to convince her that he would divorce Vivian when Violet graduated from school. Hayden agreed that it would be for the best if they waited until they were together to have a baby, she agreed to the termination.

Ben had no intention of ever talking to Hayden again once he'd made sure the baby was dead. He snubbed her in the university halls, disregarded her questions in the lecture hall and even changed his cell number to avoid her.

Whilst Hayden quietly had a break down, Ben began an affair with another student and continued his long standing affair with ex student and the mother of his child; Anna. Hayden never saw Ben with either woman. Instead she found a target for her pent up aggression in Violet Harmon.

**Saturday**

Violet was bringing her father a file he'd left at home on a crisp October afternoon when Hayden saw them together. Ben was introducing her to all his colleges, beaming from ear to ear and gushing about how intelligent she was.

Hayden decided there and then that Violet was the only thing standing in the way of her and Ben being together and having their baby. As Violet left the campus Hayden followed her through the streets of Boston on bus and by foot, all the way to her house, where she stood across the street and plotted how to rid the world of a 15 year old.

**November **

Over the next few weeks Hayden stalked the Harmon house and followed Violet wherever she went. She waited for her to leave school and followed her home again. Hayden appeared to be the only person with any real interest in Violet. The young girl didn't seem to have any friends, she never went to anyone's house after school and no one came to hers. She was so isolated and quiet.

Hayden began noticing other things about Violet like how many layers she wore, how secretive she was and the way she held her arms. Hayden theorized that Violet was a cutter, and to Hayden that made her a complete cliché, sad and alone she sliced her flesh to feel something in her life. Hayden also noticed that the Harmon boy spent hardly any time at the house; he was obviously not the one she needed to focus on, so she continued with Violet.

Violet began feeling uneasy and noticing odd things around her like the same green woollen hat in every crowd and a sense of being watched all the time.

**Thursday**

In the middle of the night Violet got up to get a glass of water. She heard her father whispering downstairs and crept closer to hear what was going on. He was speaking hurriedly to someone on his cell phone about not having enough money this month and that he'd get it to her the next.

"I'm sorry Anna, next month I swear. I'll buy you some new shoes as well ok?" When he was satisfied with the answer he smiled, "I love you too." Ben finished his call and quietly sobbed at the kitchen counter.

Friday

Violet knocked on Bennett's bedroom door. He grunted in response and she took this to mean she could enter the room. He was still in bed hiding under his comforter, even though it was after 12.

"I heard Dad talking to a woman last night."

"Was it Mom?"

"No, one of his bitches, going on about money." Bennett stayed silent, "He's going to give her money."

"Oh a prostitute then."

"Never mind." Violet hung her head but she didn't leave the room. Bennett turned over in his bed and sat up to look at his sister.

"Something else I can help you with?"

"I keep seeing things."

"Things like...?"

"I guess...a person?"

"Like you see ghosts?"

"No. I think I'm being stalked."

"Who'd want to stalk you?" Bennett shook his head and lay back down. Violet opened the bedroom door to leave. "You're just being paranoid Vi, go outside and make some friends, get out of this house for once. Oh and stop cutting yourself for fuck's sake you're looking like an extra from some shit Emo band."

"Fuck off dick wad." Violet stormed out of Bennett's room, slamming the door behind her.

**Sunday **

A few weeks after Hayden started stalking Violet she came to the conclusion that the poor girl would be better off dead, and then she wouldn't have to deal with her awful parents. Hayden saw everything that went on in and around the Harmon house and noted that not only was her father an adultery but her mother was too. She invited a blonde haired man round three times a week in the afternoons. She brought him back from yoga class and Hayden doubted they were sweating that much from extra yoga practice.

Hayden thought it best if Violet's death destroyed her parent's relationship so she settled on the idea to try inducing suicide in the girl. She had the perfect psychological profile for it. She was a loner, with neglectful parents and she had a general morbid sense about her.

**December**

Violet began receiving mail most days of the week. Her mother was a little confused by it but assumed, and slightly hoped, it was a boyfriend. Although she couldn't understand why he wouldn't use the internet or cell phones. But she let it go choosing to believe in an imaginary boy rather than seek the truth. The first time Violet received a letter she opened it without much interest, it wasn't until razor blades fell onto her lap from within the folded paper that she became curious.

The note simply said 'Do us all a favour', in plain and smile handwriting. Violet was slightly taken aback at the mail but dumped it all in the garbage and thought nothing more of it.

Until the next day when she saw the same handwriting on another envelope her mother handed her. Violet ran upstairs and opened it to find a single slip of paper bearing bright red letters reading 'Write me back in your own'. The letter was presumably written in blood and, for some reason completely unbeknownst to Violet, the author wanted hers.

Weeks went by with the notes arriving and Violet continuing to feel like someone was watching her. The notes were thrown away and the feeling was pushed away, but she started to notice that her heart rate increased whenever she left the house or saw some out of the corner of her eye. Violet decided she would ignore these new feelings and continue with her life.

But every day the notes came and everyday Violet felt someone watch her and everyday she saw the green hat. Violet spent less and less time out of the house and more time peering through her bedroom blinds hoping to catch her stalker in the act.

**January **

**Saturday**

It was early in January when it happened. Hayden was a persistent stalker but she was getting bored of waiting for Violet to kill herself. She considered burning the house down or stabbing her in the street, but she didn't want anything, such as a life sentence, to come between her and Ben, so she continued to wait.

Violet took herself out of the house early in the afternoon to try and score some cigarettes. She waited down the street from the store and asked a few people to buy them for her, but no one was willing to help her out. Hayden had the idea that she should do it so she approached Violet. As she did so she walked past a bush and her hat got tangled in a loose branch. Panicking someone else would get to Violet first; Hayden pulled it off of her head and walked across the street.

Violet was polite and gracious when Hayden handed over the packet. She began to walk home and Hayden matched her stride.

"Can I ask how old you are?" Hayden asked as she dropped into step beside Violet.

"You can ask but I won't tell."

"Ha, spunky aren't you."

"Don't try and seduce me I don't go for college lesbo."

"I doubt you go for anything you're what? 11?"

"Yeah and soon I'll be able to ride the big kids' rides at Disney World!"

"Rude for 11."

"I'm not 11 and you're the one who bought me the smokes so..."

Violet found herself outside her house with the woman. She didn't know whether she should carry on walking past her house to shake her off or just go inside.

"What do your parents think of you smoking?"

"Are you seriously going to give me a lecture after buying them for me?!"

"No I want one." Violet sighed and handed a cigarette to Hayden who lit it, inhaled and stated a coughing fit.

Violet sniggered and shook her head. When she didn't stop coughing Violet invited Hayden into the house for a glass of water. Once in the house with Hayden Violet felt oddly at ease, she saw that she couldn't be more that 20 and even if she did try and do god knows what to her, she had plenty of nice sharp implements in the kitchen to play with.

Violet handed Hayden a glass of water which she sipped, then took her coat and scarf off and settled down on a kitchen stool. Violet took off her own winter apparel and made herself some tea, offering some to Hayden but she declined.

"So..." Violet stood on the other side of the kitchen island, "Do you have a name?"

"Hayden." She held out her hand to be shaken.

"Violet and I'm 15." Violet reluctantly took Hayden's hand.

"Yes I know who you are." Violet felt the grip around her hand tighten.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the person who's going to kill you."

"Why?"

"Because I love Ben and you're in the way of us being together." Violet stared at Hayden and she tried to wretch her hand from her grip but she couldn't. "I'll make it quick, I have pills; it'll look like suicide."

Violet continued to stare at Hayden trying to gauge just how crazy this woman was and whether she was in real danger. Deciding on completely crazy and in very real danger Violet grabbed her hot tea and threw it in Hayden's face. Her hand was instantly released and Violet raced towards the stairs, the front door being blocked by a screaming Hayden.

Violet made it to her bedroom quickly and slammed the door behind her. Leaning against it just incase, she glanced around the room for something heavy to barricade herself in with. As she reached to turn the lock on the door something thudded against it and Violet was knocked off balance. She shot up and slammed her body against the opening door, closing it again. Violet tried in vain to turn the lock but she was thrown away by Hayden and this time she couldn't get up quick enough. Hayden pushed through the door and looked at Violet with a sparkle in her eyes.

"You're making this more difficult than it needs to be. I gave you more than enough time to do it yourself."

"You sent the notes."

"I did. It's the only way."

Hayden waved a baggy of pills in front of Violet and stalked towards her. Violet backed up, bumping into her furniture repeatedly. She found herself backed up so far she had nowhere to go. Hayden stood in front and over her, she shoved her hand in the baggy and grabbed Violet's chin.

"It'll be over so quick." Hayden pushed Violet's body up against the wall.

Clenching her jaw and refusing to open her mouth only worked for Violet until Hayden pinched her nose. When Violet opened her mouth a crack Hayden shoved her fingers in and poured a handful of the pills into her mouth. She held her jaw tight, tipping her head back slightly and massaging her throat.

"Just like a dog taking its medicine."

Violet struggled to not swallow then saw that it was snowing again. Little snowflakes falling in a flurry out of the window just to the right of Violet. If she could find the strength maybe she could throw the bitch out of it.

As Violet found herself swallowing the pills Hayden released her, happy with the work achieved. Violet decided to take her chance then; she grabbed a lamp off of her desk and slammed it into Hayden's head. As she swung around with the lamp in her hands, Violet tripped over and fell against the window frame. Hayden lay on the floor, quiet and still. As the snow continued to fall Violet knew she needed to get rid of the pills in her system. But before she could take any action Hayden stirred.

Desperate for an exit Violet lifted the lamp up again and swung it through the window several times until it cracked. Brushing the glass out of the way Violet climbed through the window, legs first. As she tried to find purchase on the outside ledge, Violet felt hands on her back and a force pushed her.

Falling didn't stop Violet's self preservation so she twisted her torso and reached over her shoulder to grab Hayden as tightly as she could, pulling her through the window. They both fell to the ground, tangled up in each other limbs, landing in the back of the property.

When they landed on the ground neither one moved and there they stayed until Vivian returned from work. She had stayed later than usual as she found herself talking with a friend, then realising that she didn't want to return home. Vivian had sat in her spot on the stage and contemplated her current situation. As soon as she entered her daughter's bedroom she regretted that she ever left the house.

Vivian screamed out for Violet, she knew not where her daughter was or what had happened to her but she knew something was desperately wrong. The broken window suddenly caught her eye and Vivian ran to it. Seeing two shapes on the snow covered ground bellow her Vivian ran down the stairs and out of the door to the yard. She frantically dug the fresh snow from the bodies. The first she uncovered was Hayden; Vivian had no idea who she was. But she instantly recognized Violet when she uncovered her hair.

Vivian wailed when she saw the state of her child lying so still in the snow, she touched her cheek and felt it frozen. Somewhere in the back of her mind Vivian remembered a quote that said; 'you're not dead until you're warm and dead'. With that ringing in her ears she ran back into the house, grabbed the phone and called an ambulance.

Both Violet and Hayden where taken to Massachusetts General Hospital. After hours of emergency treatment, Hayden was declared dead whilst Violet was still in a critical condition. Ben arrived around two in the morning after receiving a distressed voicemail from Vivian. The police interviewed them both separately about what had happened. When they were asked to identify the other woman found with Violet Vivian truthfully didn't know her and Ben lied.

**Sunday**

Bennett didn't know what had happened until he came woke up hung-over the next morning in his friends bed. He listened to his own voicemail from his Mother and rushed to the hospital. He called her cell constantly as he hailed a cab and it drove him there. When he got to Mass Gen he feared Violet had already died as his calls to Vivian went unanswered. He found his Mother and Father holding each other in the ER lobby. He joined them as they waited for news.

A doctor came to the family to ask if Violet was depressed. When they questioned him he explained that they found a toxic dose of the anti depressant amitriptyline in her system. Bennett told his parents how Violet had become paranoid recently, thinking someone was following her and not wanting to leave the house because of it. The doctor concluded that Violet had attempted suicide but the police were not so sure because of the mystery woman and obvious struggle at the house.

Violet was moved to the ICU that afternoon. For weeks Ben, Vivian and Bennett sat next to her hospital bed waiting to hear good news. They were told that she was in a coma and they needed to asses any damage to her brain and monitor her for signs of improvement. Violet was taken for numerous tests to determine what damage was caused by the fall and overdose.

After the first week Ben went back to work, but Vivian and Bennett stayed with Violet swapping shifts so they could both sleep. Assessments of Violet's condition were done every day and the doctors determined that she was slowly coming out of her coma. The ventilator keeping Violet alive was removed when she began to breathe on her own and her brain scans revealed more brain activity. She had begun to flicker her eye lids, which Vivian knew in her heart meant Violet would soon come back to her.

By the third week of Violet being in a coma Vivian demanded Bennett go back to school. He woke up early so he could see her before school, then rushed back to see her after class. He would keep Violet updated on gossip he knew she didn't care about hoping to bore her out of the coma.

**February**

The family were told that Violet was in a persistent vegetative state; she had technically awoken from her coma but had not regained as much brain function as the doctors had hoped. Violet was unlikely to ever wake up. Vivian refused to believe that her daughter would stay like that and ordered the doctors to test her again. When the results came back the same Vivian vowed to find a way to bring Violet back. She stopped spending all her time in the hospital and began researching.

**Friday**

The detective in charge of Violet's case visited Vivian in the hospital. She was sat on a chair surrounded by loose papers, medical journals and books. A pencil was clamped in her mouth as she studied a stack of papers in her hand, frowned and blindly reached for something on the table next to her.

"Mrs Harmon?" Her voice startled Vivian and she gagged on the pencil. "Geez, I'm sorry!" Detective Devale helped Vivian right her papers and sat on the chair next to her.

She explained the woman had been identified by her sister as Hayden McClaine. Vivian commented that she still didn't know who she was. Devale went on to explain that Hayden was a College student with a history of mental illness. She'd been questioned about harassment and attacks on students when in high school, and had threatened to commit suicide several times.

Vivian was unsure what this meant. Did this Hayden start harassing Violet? Did they know each other and Hayden forced Violet to take the pills? She had to know so she thanked the detective for the information and tried to go back to her research.

"Mrs Harmon?" Devale coughed, "We're going to close your daughter's case. It will be labelled suicide." Vivian shot Devale a look of pure hatred.

"She isn't even dead."

"After a year in this...state she'll be declared dead by the courts and..." Devale stopped talking. Vivian was standing in front of the detective with tears staining her cheeks.

"I will prove you wrong when I wake her up."

**March**

Vivian had enjoyed shopping online for all the supplies she would need. A TV with built in computer and a wheeled stand for it, a fully adjustable hospital bed, new turquoise bed sheets and a few medical professionals to be called when needed. Violet was coming home, she would stay where she could be cared for properly, by her family.

Vivian tucked her daughter up in her new bed and settled down in the chair next to her, learning to use the new TV. Bennett walked in and took the remote from his Mother's hand.

"Let me." He set up the whole thing connecting it to the internet and putting one of Violet's favourite movies on. "What happens now?"

"We wait. She's going to come back."

"How? Dad said you drained all their savings with tests and procedures. That's why she had to come back here he couldn't afford the hospital anymore." Bennett sighed and looked at his sister so broken. Randomly she would open her eyes or grind her teeth, they were told she had sleep wake cycles but could understand nothing that was going on around her.

"I don't need tests or medical trials anymore. She loves us and we love her. Together we will bring her back." Vivian smiled as her eyes filled up with tears, "She loves me." She whispered.


End file.
